Where I'm At...

In the last blog, I made a comment I want to revise, yet I don’t really want to change the thought I was having at the time. It was about doubt and discouragement being terrible and ungodly; they aren’t faith-filled emotions, but they are part of a process which is often very healthy. I also thought about friends who deal with difficult emotions, as I do too at times, and want to clarify that the statement was not meant as a judgment. The fact is, it is sometimes just the way we feel, even for extended periods of time, and although God calls us higher, it is sometimes where we are at in the journey of life and faith. Praise God that He transforms us anyway, as we follow Him.

I see a lot of butterflies here which are symbolic reminders of beauty that comes out of struggle and former plainness or you could say, ugliness, as caterpillars. It always reminds me of the verse in Corinthians about being a new creation in Christ.

It’s been kind of a roller coaster with the rental/sale situation. I have had a total of about 5 good prospects for rental and 2 offers to buy, of which none of them have worked out. It was hard being let down each time after a buildup of what seemed like an answer to prayer on the surface, which has happened other times in life. The real question is: what does God want me to learn out of this?

I’ve done lots of thinking here about how our lives are so focused on the here and now, rather than the Kingdom and eternity. If my focus is on pleasing God, obeying Him and valuing His kingdom above all else, then how will my heart respond to these ups and downs? As long as I’m following Him and learning to be His disciple, none of these things should be permanently upsetting. But, yes, they are let-downs if my goal is merely to have what I want done in my life and when I want it.

The fact is, doing easy things and getting what I want when I want it, doesn’t really shape my faith. It’s a sobering thought, but it’s true. Also, when it comes down to it, do I love anything else more than God? What do my actions reveal? I should not, and hope to say I do not, but am still a work in progress.

I’m reading a book that I highly recommend. After being here for almost 4 months (wow! Incroyable!), my interest in missions and ministry has turned to discipleship. The book is by Walter Henrichsen, “Disciples are Made – Not Born: Making Disciples Out of Christians.” He does not mince words, and plainly states that discipleship costs us everything, with excellent supporting principles.

Two things have stood out: that we are called to do hard things in being true disciples of Christ. The author points out that Joseph didn’t want to go to prison, Moses didn’t want to go to Pharaoh, Abraham didn’t want to sacrifice Isaac, Jesus didn’t want to go to the cross. They were hard things, but if we acknowledge Christ as Lord, it requires dying to self, and discipline (which is the trait of its root word “disciple”).

Now, this might all sound depressing, but there’s a little vignette in the book about being given a gift, then being asked to have it back, and then…being given so much more. That is the sweetness of discipleship, although we are called to lay down our very lives, what we get back is immeasurably and eternally valuable. It may not seem obvious at the time when we’re going through a difficult situation, but God is not a promise-breaker. He is faithful in all He says and does.

It is raining steadily here, and I shall sign off now. Enfin!