God, change the scenery of my soul. Give me a new perspective. Help me to stop settling for a mediocre faith when I have the amazing, life-changing, soul-converting promises of God.
I have been specifically asking God why He has not moved regarding a prayer request for a buyer or renter for my place back home. It has made me question and wonder, because I felt a very strong sense of calling to come out for this mission. Then, there have been other challenges. But God reminds me today…
Doubt, worry and discouragement are terrible, ungodly things, because in Christ, we have no excuse for these things. I have been thinking about how often as Christians we allow these white-collar sins to pervade our faith. To be honest, I hear traces of unbelief in so many conversations that I have with fellow believers. Then, we sigh and still say God is in control, as if that is the last resort because our human thinking is exhausted. It is human to worry, but when I read the New Testament, I read about radically life-altering teachings. These promises are ours as believers in Christ. Acts of sacrifice and conversion should be no surprise in the kingdom of Christ. This Gospel is still alive today – it is the life-transforming salvation of Jesus Christ.
I think of Jesus’ challenge to the rich young ruler about selling all he has to give to the
poor. (Luke 18) I relate to this in some ways. I think of Zaccheus, the reformed tax collector, going back to return the excess funds he collected in his former way of life. (Luke 19) I think of the disciples dropping their own familiar lifestyles to follow Christ. (Luke 18:26) I think of Mary anointing Jesus feet with costly perfume, against Judas’ complaint of how the money could best be used. (John 12) Jesus honored her in all history, for how she poured out her love and worship of Him in this act.
Truly, Jesus and following Him requires radical faith. I need, desperately, to have a different faith than what I currently have. I ask you to pray with me that God will radically change my faith from the very roots. I want to be a Christian who reflects Romans 15:13, overflowing with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. This is the God who can fill us with all joy and peace, but it will take radical, unshakeable faith.
He is able to accomplish all things which are His will for us. I want to know that deep in my soul, not only by words that slip off my tongue as a balm to worry, but as the solid anchor of all my thoughts.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Friday, July 3, 2009
My Will and My IPOD
The irony of coming to Cote d’Ivoire is that while so many external things are new, I realize that a big part of what I am here for is to change internally. Almost every missionary I’ve talked to cites spiritual growth as one of the biggest changes they go through.
As I’m only here for 8 months, I realize that my time and abilities are limited. This is a reality but was hard for me when I began to understand this more fully after first arriving - the extent of my limitations. But, as I trust God desires me to be here, serving Him cannot primarily be about what I want.
On the other hand, I believe this is a great opportunity, and have also seen a different light on my role recently. There are some immeasurable things that we will never understand how God measures, I suppose. We have human thinking about attainable goals and expectations, which we try to control and exert our will over. God knows better and refines us in the laying down of our own ambitions, in so many ways.
I read a quote for July 1st from a little calendar in the pharmacy. It struck me because it is something I recently thought and prayed about intensively. It says, “The case with true believers in Christ is that they frequently find their will more or less exalting itself against the will of God.” (Spirit Refreshers, text from Renew My Heart by John Wesley and Show Me Your Love by Barbour Publishing) These words pricked my heart. For so long now, I have struggled with God, shallowly thinking I have laid down my own ambitions. The reality is that I have not truly laid them all down. I still have them, and while it is human, it is not God’s best for me.
As I’m studying Jeremiah, two things that stand out are that God called him to be single through a challenging call in his life to be God’s weeping prophet to Judah. The second thing that stood out to me was this verse in chapter 10:23, “I know, O Lord, that a man’s way is not in himself, Nor is it in a man who walks to direct his steps.“. It was something I turned over and over, wondering if this answers my question of whether God gives us choices or molds us into what we are to be. Although I don’t dare claim an answer on such a complex subject, I tend to believe that God desires us to passionately seek His will at every step, as an act of worship and surrender to Him.
On another note, my IPOD and speakers were stolen out of the house I’m living in today. While it is certainly not a happy event, I also realize God knows what happened to it and even permitted it to happen. He knows who did it, and though annoying and a sense of personal invasion that is a bit disturbing, no physical harm was done to me. Prayers would be appreciated to help me get over this unfortunate incident as it does shake one’s trust in the people around you. I enjoy music a lot so it is more the loss of a modern technology to listen to music that saddens me.
C’est un peu triste, mais c’est la vie!
As I’m only here for 8 months, I realize that my time and abilities are limited. This is a reality but was hard for me when I began to understand this more fully after first arriving - the extent of my limitations. But, as I trust God desires me to be here, serving Him cannot primarily be about what I want.
On the other hand, I believe this is a great opportunity, and have also seen a different light on my role recently. There are some immeasurable things that we will never understand how God measures, I suppose. We have human thinking about attainable goals and expectations, which we try to control and exert our will over. God knows better and refines us in the laying down of our own ambitions, in so many ways.
I read a quote for July 1st from a little calendar in the pharmacy. It struck me because it is something I recently thought and prayed about intensively. It says, “The case with true believers in Christ is that they frequently find their will more or less exalting itself against the will of God.” (Spirit Refreshers, text from Renew My Heart by John Wesley and Show Me Your Love by Barbour Publishing) These words pricked my heart. For so long now, I have struggled with God, shallowly thinking I have laid down my own ambitions. The reality is that I have not truly laid them all down. I still have them, and while it is human, it is not God’s best for me.
As I’m studying Jeremiah, two things that stand out are that God called him to be single through a challenging call in his life to be God’s weeping prophet to Judah. The second thing that stood out to me was this verse in chapter 10:23, “I know, O Lord, that a man’s way is not in himself, Nor is it in a man who walks to direct his steps.“. It was something I turned over and over, wondering if this answers my question of whether God gives us choices or molds us into what we are to be. Although I don’t dare claim an answer on such a complex subject, I tend to believe that God desires us to passionately seek His will at every step, as an act of worship and surrender to Him.
On another note, my IPOD and speakers were stolen out of the house I’m living in today. While it is certainly not a happy event, I also realize God knows what happened to it and even permitted it to happen. He knows who did it, and though annoying and a sense of personal invasion that is a bit disturbing, no physical harm was done to me. Prayers would be appreciated to help me get over this unfortunate incident as it does shake one’s trust in the people around you. I enjoy music a lot so it is more the loss of a modern technology to listen to music that saddens me.
C’est un peu triste, mais c’est la vie!
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